I’m no stranger to police attention. I was once driving along with the wife when the old bill pulled me over. The copper asked me if I’d been drinking.
“Not a drop” I replied, “Was I speeding?”
“No Sir, it’s the state of the bint in the passenger seat that aroused my suspicion.”
My run in with the Old Bill pigeon-holes me alongside young Wayne Rooney. The Scouse nutcase had his possessions lifted from his parent’s house recently; imagine that, a robbery in Liverpool. If anyone offers you a half-eaten Big Mac wrapped in losing betting slips, you should contact the filth immediately.
For Rooney, it’s been a summer to forget. The big lad’s temperament was called in to question at the World Cup, when after a couple of niggling challenges from the opposition players, Rooney decided to jump on Ricardo Carvalho’s testicles like they were a couple of hairy chicken nuggets.
Ricky ‘The Soprano’ Carvalho will have a thirst for Bandarqq vengeance as a result of his severe case of the ‘numb plum’ at the hands of the Roonatic. They say that revenge is a dish best served with two veg, depriving Wayne Rooney of a champion’s medal will be a little payback. Chelsea are 1/2 to retain their title; that’s a plum betting opportunity.
Luckily, there is a betting without Chelsea market, and I’m favouring Arsenal to pip Man U to the runners-up spot. It looks like Real Madrid have failed in their attempt to lure Fabregas from the Emirates (paying for Cesc is quite an appealing prospect), while United are set to lose Ronnie and the Ruud boy. 2/1 about the Gunners in a two horse race seems more than fair.
Ricardo Carvalho is not the first man to end …
